uber_orange

I am REALLY REALLY bored. I have NO idea what I want to do right now. I don't really have that many options right now besides watching TV, playing Harvest Moon or Animal Crossing, or going on Gaia... and trust me, there is NOTHING to do on Gaia anymore. Harvest Moon has gotten boring... bah D:

I guess I could go play some Dissidia...

It's raining outside for a reason.

Today is the last day I get to spend with my ducks. Tomorrow April's dad is going to take them to his awesome farm so they can live a happy free life doing whatever they want without having to worry about little kids shooting bb guns at them or raccoons coming in and biting their heads off. I should be really happy about this but I find myself crying a lot.

Today I gotta go get the oil changed on the truck. I'll be going with Grandma grocery shopping while I wait for it to get done. Bah, I'm going to feel lonely today while I'm doing that. .__. really lonely. Maybe I'll get myself a lot of sweet things to pick me up. That should help a little.

Gah, lately just seems to be a constant circle of torture. I literally have started to believe 'the world is out to get me.' Or at least that I have really bad luck.

Whenever Aarron and I are happy, my Grandma is a bitch and brings me down. If Grandma seems content enough, then something happens to being Aarron and I down. No wonder I started smoking cigarettes. And I haven't even gotten a job yet, or started any schooling! I can only imagine what will happen once that happens.

Speaking of getting a job, I had a perfect opportunity to work where Aarron's mom works, and I jumped on it. Turns out they ALREADY filled the position some how. I mean really, how fast can a person read the morning newspaper, and run into the place to get an interview? :(

Any other places I've tried, Game Stop, Hy Vee, even Wal-Mart again, just seems to fall out some how. I mean, I've called Game Stop like 3 times until I was told the position was filled, I WOULD call Wal-Mart but it just seems... bleh. I wouldn't want to work where the horrid 'guy' works. Seriously, I wouldn't even want to go to work if I had a late shift there. Though everyone else there I get along with really well. HyVee, well... I had an interview there once, and I know I flopped it. I could tell it on the manager's face when I was talking to him. I guess it's back to the newspaper for me. Maybe tonight I'll get lucky : )

Some better news, a new house came on the market. It's a hut house so it'll probably have to go under inspection. I really hope it passes, because the house price is already high enough without us needing to spend money to fix it up more. So far all I can tell is that it has a REALLY ghetto banister. Just a few pieces of wood >_> I mean really, we could just tear it down with no problem. But best news, if we get this house, that means we get to keep the ducks! :D But knowing our luck, we probably won't get it. Won't stop me from hoping though!

Oh, last night I was plagued with some of the worst nightmares I have ever had. It was those ones where you are lying in bed and suddenly you look up and see something standing there. I kept dreaming I'd roll over and snuggle into Aarron hoping it'd go away, but then I'd open my eyes and I'd be facing the same way whatever was standing there was. I've had dreams like this before, except I could barely open my eyes, and all I saw was this dark figure sitting at the end of the bed. Damnit those dreams are really terrifying because they seem so life-like. I really couldn't tell when I was awake or when I was asleep.

Anyways, today I'm going over to Grandma's house for a bit of a visit. We're going to put gas in the truck, and then who knows what afterwards. I could tell she had something up her sleeve though.



Since I have a little bit more time, I thought I'd write some on my ideas on life.

( Ideas Below Cut )

I have found something much more life changing, much more appropriate to write about. I am in the process of helping this world, and I shall do it in the best way possible. Do not be surprised to see more on this later.

Got a huge ass cold. Sore throat, runny nose, the whole shibang. Hope it goes away soon!

Sorry, I said I'd have a Sims 2 post here by yesterday, but a bunch of things ended up distracting me from writing. Today I can write some more tonight maybe, but all of today is dedicated to moving all of our stuff out of the basement and up into the upstairs : )

For a few months I've been living with Aarron and his mom in the basement, she was renting the upstairs to his cousin Justin in order to help pay the bills, but since Justin moved out she said we can take the upstairs until we move out of this house : ) at first we were planning on moving all her stuff upstairs, but I think it's best for Aarron to be in a new environment before we move out of the house. He's pretty much lived in this bedroom his entire life, so it's like a tutorial xD so for a while I get to play house wife until I get a job, and we can be around to help his mom out if need-be.

Anyways, short story shorter, we're moving everything upstairs ourselves today! So the chances of me posting my Sims 2 legacy today is around 0-10%.

Off to make coffee! : )

Here's a list of things I hope to one day own before my time is up : ) of course I don't know how long that'll be, so I'm going to always be adding things and checking things off as time goes by. I'll keep this tagged as !Bucket List so I can find it easily. This is more of a list for myself and really doesn't need to be checked up on. I might even add pictures of my accomplishments!

Everything on this list may one day be given away or sold once I come into possession of them.

Everything on this list may get taken off the list if I decide I don't want it anymore.

( Bucket List Below The Cut )

I was on Facebook and a friend of mine on there mentioned that Ponies are much different than Horses. I for one never knew that, holy shit D: I guess there are some things they don't teach you in school. (Except maybe agriculture class. But I never took that.)

But yeah! Apparently a Pony is a small horse, they have thicker manes, tails, and coats. There are also another wide variety of differences, including shorter legs, and thicker necks. A Pony's personality is greatly influenced by if it's owner is a beginner or a more experienced person. It'll either become soft and loving if raised by a experienced individual, or they could become devious and spoiled if raised by a beginner. Ponies are also great for children to learn how to ride, mainly because of their strong bodies, unlike fouls who have wild personalities and are long and lanky.

I just found this all really interesting, and if you didn't know about all this, it doesn't hurt to learn something new : )

If you want more info about how they are different, you can always go to Wikipedia.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pony)

What's my tip for a beautiful body? Accept it. Accept it how it is, and how it's going to be. No amount of medication or surgery or ointment is ever going to make you any more beautiful than you already are. In fact, it may end up scaring the people that are around you. It may even make you distant from everyone you love. Either that or you'll attract unwanted attention from people who could actually hurt the people you love.

Just to explain the above statement, I might as well give a full-on experience story.

When I was young I thought I was beautiful just the way I was. But then my Grandma started to get me to think that I wasn't. Just simple things like... doing my hair in ways I didn't like it. She said it was pretty, but I thought it was ugly. I didn't want to hurt my Grandma's feelings, of course. So I went with it. I let her dress me in clothes I didn't like, and when I tried on clothes I really liked, she would tell me I looked chubby in them, or the color clashed with my hair. Well, I can't do anything about my hair, or my body weight. I also really wanted to wear those clothes. It was like she and I could never agree with anything, and I came to accept it.

Then I started asking her opinions on everything. How should I do this? How should I walk? How should I talk? Personally, I thought I was like a princess just the way I was, just the way I wanted to be. But I wanted her to be proud of me. I wanted to be exactly how she wanted me to be. At the same time, she was thinking she was making me into a person I wanted to be. It was a constant circle, and in the end I would be miserable. Once I became a person I liked, she would notice I wasn't the person I was before, and would try and change me again. I admit, a lot of the things she would tell me I would like. In fact, some things I really loved. But then there were small things, like a purple/pink vest she bought me for Christmas that I really didn't like. Sure I looked good in it, but it was uncomfortable. She told me I could take it back, and I did, and I bought an awesome purse that I still use. A cheap one too! So I still had money left over to buy myself something else I liked. But in the end it hurt her feelings. A lot. She still won't let me down for it. In fact, it hurt her feelings so much that she ended up throwing the presents I bought her right in my face, saying she hated them. So we were both miserable in the end.

Then once I moved out of the house and in with my boyfriend, who she hates because he took my first pay check from my first job to buy himself something (a whole other story I'll write about one day, and just for the records he payed me back, and she's never actually met him face to face), and that's reasonable in it's own way, but I find he truly makes me happy. I've had so many bad relationships in the past where I was tortured by my own doubt in the men I was with, and he's the one person I can say I truly trust, and have always trusted. Sure he's lied to me here and there, but so have I, and we've gotten through it all together, and we'll probably have a ton of things to go through together in the future. I can really say from the bottom of my hear that he is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. 100%, no doubts what-so-ever. But my Grandma was a barrier from me being with him all the time. Sure, she wanted me around the house to help out, and she wanted me to take responsibility for myself, she wanted the best things for me. But instead I dropped out of school, got my GED, stayed on the internet for a few years, and then just got up and moved out.

But that was the best for me. She and I don't argue as much anymore, and we can actually start our lives new as being friends. For so long she's been my mother, and my Grandmother. She and my Grandpa have given me everything I've ever needed, even though that meant the possible ruin of their marriage doing so, and I love them so much for it.

This leads me to explain why I love my boyfriend so much. He took me away from the life-style where I was constantly belittled by my Grandma. Instead of me asking him what color shoes I should buy, or what outfit I should wear for his brother's wedding, he's let me choose completely. He's letting me take my own responsibilities, and I've grown up a lot from it. Sure, he may have gotten me into some bad situations as well, and Grandma blames him for all of her stress, but I'm sure one day she'll understand. All I need now is for my boyfriend to hug me and tell me I'm beautiful no matter what I'm wearing. Knowing he thinks that, I'll never need any other sort of re-assurance from anyone else. I don't care if some one tells me I look better in green. If I say I don't like it, I know they'll understand. I don't need to wear short skirts or tons of make-up for my boyfriend to love me. Which is how I know I can accept the person I am in the mirror. :)

So again, the best thing for a beautiful body, is for everyone to accept they DO have a beautiful body.